glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my sisters under your porch take her home
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
