...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
