Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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