OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.