So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
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I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
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seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name