i would punch a child for taco bell
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
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well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?