If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class