nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?