did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
