Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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