If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
