Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
