I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
