i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
