This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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