Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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