we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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