so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize