So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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