The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
