You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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