My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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