Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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