You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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