You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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