I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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