hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
