Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
our cab driver is having phone sex.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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