I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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