it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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