After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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