Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
