I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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