so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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