my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
