Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
