Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
