I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
