i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
