dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
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Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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