I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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