I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
