you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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