I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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