I need to stop coming to work sober
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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