I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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