If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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