i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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