Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
