come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
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I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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