I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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