Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
