Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize