dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
