none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
