I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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