I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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