I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize