So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize