How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
