I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
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bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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