i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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