i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
