Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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