we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
