i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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