I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
