it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
